Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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