No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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