you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
