Im at strip club and am horny
im holly from the hills drunk
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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