i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize