If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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