If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
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Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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