I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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