how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
