You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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