theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
