The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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