This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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