Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
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He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
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