I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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