I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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