Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize