READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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