I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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