Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize