So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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