dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
