I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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