I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The beer is more important than you right now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just pee around me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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