i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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