I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize