Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
