Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize