she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.