Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost