Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize