Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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