new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize