i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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