You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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