Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
