R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
