Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
