Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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