this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
