You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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