"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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