I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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