I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
