i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
