dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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