i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
