Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
