I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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