My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize