I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize